An Open Apology

I feel that I must apologize for something.

My family of four was sitting in Chic-Fil-A eating dinner last night. We were enjoying our sandwiches, nuggets and salads like we do any other time we eat there. There was a group of four young people sitting nearby, laughing, eating and generally acting like 17 tear old people act. During the course of dinner, in the midst of their loud conversation, one of them started berating someone they knew. She talked about how much she hated her and capped it off with, "F--- her!" My wife and I both spun around and gave her the evil eye of disapproval. She turned, kind of half-way embarrassed and said "sorry", with a laugh in her voice and her eyes. My wife, who was probably equally embarrassed, said "that's OK", to which I loudly replied, "no, it's not OK".

I know that no less than 3 other families heard her loud and clear. She made no effort to apologize to any of them and really only ceremoniously did so to my wife. The teens continued their conversation much in the same way, but I never heard any other profanity.

I fought with myself for the rest of dinner to get up and say something to her. I'm not quite sure why I didn't. Maybe it was out of respect for the restaurant, not wanting to make a scene. Maybe it was the thought that these four teens might react in a way that would cause someone to get hurt, either me, them or any of the other people sitting nearby. Whatever it was that kept me from getting up, I regret. I should have gotten up.

So now, I want to apologize. I want to apologize to that young lady.

You were sorry? No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you grew up in a home where respect for other people was not taught. I'm sorry that your parents are part of a society that places no value in values. I'm sorry that you were never taught what it means to be polite or to respect your elders, like the elderly couple that was sitting at the table next to you. I'm sorry that you weren't shown by example how to respect children, like mine, 8 and 5, or the other four sitting nearby of similar ages. I'm sorry that our culture is such that you think its acceptable to speak that way in public.

I'm sorry that none of the friends you were with were even slightly embarrassed at your behavior. Their parents also are failing them in allowing them to grow up with the attitudes they possess. I'm sorry that your parents place whatever ideals it is that they place ahead of raising children. I'm sure they provide for your needs as you all had iPhones and nice clothes. I'm sorry that they haven't taught you the value of hard work. I'm sorry that they haven't instilled in you any values or moral code that would make you feel even slightly remorseful for the way you behave. I'm sorry that you were never disciplined.

I'm sorry that your schools are filled with the thoughts of  encouraging you to do whatever you want to do without regard for consequences. I'm sorry that they are so afraid to instill real values into your education that they are handcuffed by fear of what your parents or the courts might do to them if they actually have the nerve to teach you or discipline you when you act this way in class. I'm sorry that they feel that it is more important to suspend you for chewing a pop-tart into a banned shape instead of teaching you how our founders and subsequently millions of soldiers used weapons that were not pop-tarts to establish and defend this country from our enemies. I'm sorry.

I want to further apologize to you for having to live in a society where people like me feel like trying to do the right thing and show you the error of your ways may cause us to be arrested or sued. I'm sorry that our justice system is tilted in the favor of those who will sit still for anything over those who will stand for something. I'm sorry that our society places more value in things that degrade the family instead of building it up. I'm sorry that they can't see the results, but that my family has to witness the results while trying to enjoy dinner. I'm sorry that they will push even harder to get across the next hurdle to breaking down the family for good.

I'm sorry that you are so inspired by our leaders who will apologize all over the world for being a nation that had values that we stood by for so many years. I'm sorry that our leaders will praise celebrities who display values that go against the kind of values that create people who don't behave in the way that you do. I'm sorry that our nations highest courts, lawmakers and executives lead you by example in the way they display a lack of morals and no desire to strive for what is right. I'm sorry that society has practically abolished the concept of right and wrong or good and evil.

I'm sorry that you can't pick up a magazine or go to a movie or see a television show where sex and violence isn't the main theme. I'm sorry that Hollywood has chosen to do as much as it can to separate you from reality. I'm sorry that the games you have to play have to include a warning on the box for violence and adult themes. I'm sorry that the music you listen to is so full of vile ideas and words that would cause Paula Deen to lose her career but the people that sing the songs are hailed as heroes and role models. I'm sorry that your biggest influence growing up was probably Spongebob Squarepants.

Above all, I'm sorry that I didn't get up and say all of this to you in person. I'm sorry that I spared you the discomfort of hearing someone tell you what they think about your behavior. I'm sorry that I didn't make you squirm in your seat for fifteen minutes while I tried to do what all of these influences in your life failed to do. I'm sorry that so many other people will have to hear you say the same kinds of things, over and over until you are replaced by your own children.

I am truly sorry...